Who needs a gun when you have gloves?

Gloves. The least advertised of the defenses. The truth is, however, that no amount of martial arts or professional training can protect you quite like a pair of Badass gloves.

Gloves are the greatest bully, theft, and mugging defense since man has become civilized. There is nothing on this earth that can defend and inspire fear (unless you count Chuck Norris) like a good, loyal pair of gloves. Though not scientifically proven, this video shows that even aggressive males can be put at bay by even the silliest of gloves. Now imagine if this young man had had leather spiked gloves. He would have not only hurt his assaulters to the point of hospitalization, but the building could have potentially exploded because of the icredibly high "cool factor" that follows such a pair of hand ornaments.
There's a reason gloves were used to start a duel in old times: they are cool beyond comprehension. Because of this, they possess the power of intimidation. Badass coolness is one of the hardest things in the universe to fight; in fact, there's no other energy source with that much power and influence.

Now that you have this knowledge, to go forth! Go forth into this world with reckless disregard for danger and fear! Pay no mind to vandals and hooligans! And remember! Remember that gloves are a placebo!!!

Publicity

The uses of gloves have gone unseen for what seems like far too long. Many have made claims to useful products to have in various situations: intergalactic hitch-hikers should always have a towel, according to Douglas Adams; the zombie survival guide says that blunt force weapons should always be at hand; Gary Coleman insists that his various kitchen products are extremely useful, and should be present in any household. Unfortunately, the glove has no such advertisers to show the wonder and usefulness of these little hand warmers.
The glove an accessory that is incredibly diverse and can be used and worn by anyone. Mickey mouse, Bugs Bunny, Spider Man, Batman, pretty much any x-man or their enemies, many members of the justice league, as well as any member of the fantastic four or a large number of their enemies (Doctor Doom, for example) possess gloves. Anyone can wear gloves and pull them off, because they are extremely neutral accessories. Whether you're a Power- Ranger or a  super villain, gloves are a statement that works for anyone.

Cliche comic book gloves. Gloves withs a neutral style, like these, can be used for either superheroes or super villains.

Gloves not only function as a diverse fashion statement, they also can have many practical functions as well. Gloves can be used for a large degree of things ranging from starting duels to being used as actual weapons. Say for instance you find yourself in a fight that you know you can't win, gloves can hide a weapan that you may need to pull out. They also make a handy wallet. Gloves can also be used to hold money in your hand that you're scared will fall out of your pockets. Plus, if you're  a bit on the weak side, a big, dark pair of fingerless gloves can make any ensemble a scary one. 

A sad and lonely life

The glove. An accessory unacknowledged for most of its creation. Only noticed when the weather is cold and snow is involved. People say that the small factors affect everything that we do. What is to say then, that those sad and lonely handwarmers that hide in closets and pockets most of the year don't affect a small part of what we do?
Would Captain America be able to lay a good hard hit on Hittler if his gloves went missing? What if Stalin read Machiavelli's Prince to find something to occupy his hands to keep them warm because he lost his gloves one day, changing Russia's History? What if Disney characters' hands were bare? Would they be as famous as they are now?